


Bravery and Kindness

by Diary



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Bechdel Test Fail, Gen, Gen Fic, POV Jon Snow, POV Male Character, Post - Red Wedding, Post-Episode: s03e09 The Rains of Castamere, Religious Discussion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-24 12:04:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7507582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diary/pseuds/Diary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gilly and Jon talk. Complete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bravery and Kindness

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Game of Thrones.

Seeing a figure in the godswood, Jon grabs the hilt of his sword and starts, “In the name of the Night’s Watch-”

The sound of cooing makes him pause, and jumping up, the figure turns.

“Gilly?” He lets go of the hilt. “What are you and- is that baby Sam?”

Nodding, she picks up the basket containing the baby.

Belatedly, he remembers: Wildlings don’t worship the seven.

Most of the men at Castle Black don’t ever go near the small sept it holds unless there’s a special need, but a few do regularly hold services, and there are likely some who privately slip in when no else is around. Until now, he never particularly thought about what Gilly might believe or how she might intend to raise her son when it comes to a question of gods.

Ygritte was always more concerned with people than what the gods might be up to. Tormund is the type who, give him enough drink, and he’ll issue all sorts of blasphemous challenges. He remembers there was one young wildling girl who might have been plotting to kill him until he off-handily mentioned taking his vows at the godswood. Later, Ygritte had told him the little one hated worshipers of the Seven and the Drowned God and so on more than she did crows themselves.

“I’m sorry to disturb you,” he says. “But does Sam know you’re here? Did you come alone?”

She shakes her head. “Ghost always comes with us. If you want me to stop-”

“No,” he quickly says. “I’m glad.”

She gives him a questioning look.

“I’ll come back, later,” he decides aloud.

Setting the basket down, she says, “There’s room enough for both of us. All three of us, I mean.”

Slowly, he goes over to the tree and notices she’s working on a prayer wheel and debates asking.

“For Sam and Little Sam,” she tells him. “If the old gods won’t watch over them, maybe, the new ones will.”

Tentatively, he sits down. “Gilly, I’m not trying to be cruel, but you have to realise you and the baby can’t stay for much longer. Aside from the wall being no place for a child to grow, if you and baby Sam stay, other men are going to start trying to insist their- women who they’re close to, their bastard children, and so on be allowed, too.”

Continuing to weave, she looks over at him. “Sam will figure out what to do when the time comes.”

He gets the feeling she doesn’t really believe this, or maybe, he just doesn’t understand how she possibly can, but he sighs, turns to kneel down in front of the weirwood, lowers his head, and closes his eyes.

Through the wind and cold, he hears quiet weaving and the occasional babble and coo of the baby.

Whatever he was hoping for, it doesn’t come. His father, stepmother, and brother are still dead. His half-sister is still prisoner, and his little siblings are all (hopefully) in the wild. For all he knows, they’re dead or imprisoned, too.

Ygritte is still dead. Millions of innocent people on both of sides of the wall are likely to soon be dead. His father, in good faith, still killed a deserter who everyone should have listened to more. His uncle is still missing.

Sam and Gilly and the baby named after Sam are all still in danger.

He’s angry, scared, and confused. Every decision he’s made and will have to make- he no longer has any confidence any of them will turn out good.

When he hears the weaving completely stop, he opens his eyes and glances over.

Gilly is carefully balancing baby Sam on her leg and placing the prayer wheel in the basket.

“Would you like for me to hold him?”

“Yes, thank you,” she answers.

He takes the baby, and she finishes getting it in the basket. “We’re going to go back. Would you like to walk with us?”

“Yeah. If you want, I’ll carry the basket.”

She nods, and they trade.

As they walk, he finds himself asking, “Does going to the godswood help? Did making the prayer wheel?”

“Sometimes,” she answers. “Before I had baby Sam, I never prayed. More than anything, I want him to grow to be kind. Your stepmother didn’t teach you kindness, but you are, anyways. Sam is, too. I’m- not sure I am.”

“Of course, you are,” is all he can manage to say.

“I was quiet and never challenged my father,” she replies. “I had to be. That’s not the same as choosing to be kind. It’s choosing to be brave or a coward.”

“No, it’s not,” he firmly tells her. “Did Sam tell you that?”

He’d thought Sam had gotten better about not seeing himself (Sam) as cowardly.

“No,” she answers. “Even if Sam didn’t fight, he’d still be brave. Whether people are kind or cruel, he chooses kindness. I’m not sure I would, if I weren’t afraid.”

“Whenever I get angry or scared or confused about something, I try to go on with life and wait until I get to the weirwood tree to think about it,” she continues. “That doesn’t always work, but when I can wait and get there- Sometimes, the answers come. I can let go of the bad feelings, or I know how I should handle things. But sometimes, it doesn’t help. One of my sisters used to say, ‘The gods being fickle is proof they made us.’”

“I don’t think I can argue with that,” he comments. “I’m not sure I’ve ever really felt the gods. Sept or weirwood, it doesn’t matter.”

She gives him a sympathetic smile. “If it helps, I think that makes you even braver. It’s easier to be kind, I imagine, if you feel connected to the gods.”

Softly, he promises her, “You’re kind, Gilly.”

They finish the rest of the walk in silence, and when they get back, she takes the basket and immediately heads towards Sam’s room.


End file.
